Blow ‘Em Out

AS DETAILED IN A PREVIOUS post (c. 2010), every March my sister asks what I would like for my birthday (it’s on the 22d, BTW) and my answer is always the same: “I already have everything I need.” That said, and for the sake of obliging my sibling for my 58th year, I do still have a semi-whimsical list, with some items apropos an autodidactic home cook. Go wild, Susan!

– Working tricorder or lightsaber
– Warp-capable spacecamper (preferably Danube-class)
– Several plain black short-sleeved T-shirts, size L
– Hawaiian shirt (or two), size L
– Pea coat, size L
– Pair of grey slacks (not pleated), size 34-29
– Mandoline
– Immersion blender
– Ceramic mortar and pestle
– Set of a dozen or so professional-grade dishtowels
– Microplane and/or box grater
– The latest edition of Joy of Cooking
– Knowledge of and conversation with extraterrestrial sentience
– Or at least the discovery of some sort of extremophilic goo on Europa, or Ganymede, or Titan, or Mars
– An implemented solution to the Arab/Israeli conflict
– What the hell, all conflicts
– An end to the militant ignorance in our national discourse
– And the uncivil snark in our civic discourse
– And the attituder-than-thou vacuousness in our popular culture
– More compassion for everyone, by everyone
– An end to chronic pain and nausea
– Some sort of remote-control robot servant with anti-mosquito laser beams, big built-in cooler and self-cleaning hibachi.

All and each of which are well and easily substituted for by a hug, smile or anchovy pizza. May we all be blessed by seeing what we already have — and what we can give to others.