OF ALL THE PET PEEVES this modern life offers, one of the most soul-sucking is checking out at the grocery store. I’m specifically talking about the debit-card machine. Time was, you could fill the two-to-three-minute transaction with friendly banter; ask…
Tag: jobbing
Tales of the Great Dollar Hunt.
Night, Fog, and One Hell of a Bang
IF I HAD KNOWN THAT our galleon would collide with a freighter, I would have worn a life jacket. The time was February 1988. Through a curious series of circumstances, I had signed aboard the replica galleon Golden Hinde II…
I’m Ed, He’s Johnny
FOR MOST OF this year, I have been co-hosting a weekly radio show with my rabbi (and showhost), Steve Finley. It’s billed as the Sonoma Valley Interfaith Ministerial Association Radio Hour, and is an exploration of different faith traditions and…
Bicycle Safety 101
THERE IS ONE INFLEXIBLE RULE which, if followed diligently, will result in years if not decades of safe bicycling: Pretend you’re invisible. Now, many get the wrong impression on first hearing this advice — they hear “invisible” and think “invincible,”…
Advice to The Younger Self
TAKE THE WORLD AND YOUR part in it seriously, but not yourself. Never refuse anything offered, but be careful about entanglements. You’ll need computer skills, but you’ll also enjoy them. Write. Stake out early your points of honor. Dream. Then…
“What do YOU like about being a spiritual leader?”
THIS QUESTION WAS POSED TO me by a friend who’s considering the path. Since I have some small experience with the subject, and some readers have some interest in it, I’m posting my reply here and will be absolutely unoffended…
First-Step Messiah
CONSIDERING THE GREAT POTENTIAL CONTAINED in most human beings, and the difficulty we have getting started on projects, perhaps we might accordingly revise our notions of messianism. The Re-(or Un-)born King may not set things right so much as give…
Three Reasons Why I Like My New Yorker Rejection Slip
1. THEY RECOGNIZE THE SUPERIOR QUALITY of my work by admitting that they “regret that (they) are unable to carry it in the magazine.” You can’t regret doing something that’s not regretworthy, right? Right? 2. They spelled my name right.…
Wanted: Art Factory
BRIGHT-EYED BUT LIMP-TAILED creator — more ideas than Warhol or Lucas with one-tenth the energy, no pretensions and no contacts — seeks talented but inspiration-dry makers to loose entertaining visions on unsuspecting populace. Preferred media disciplines: comix; publishing; publicity; cartography;…
School’s Out
TODAY IS THE WORST DAY (or one of the worst days) in any given year: it’s the last day I’ll be teaching religious school until September, which means I won’t see “my kids” until then — and I’ll be slightly…
Between Unravelings
After further conversation, it seems my employer has rescinded my termination — which is good news for a May 19 diagnostic. As the company’s health insurance is now guarded by a fierce COBRA, however, the financial effect is the same,…
Poetry of News
There is a certain poetry to newswriting that’s not readily apparent to its readers — and perhaps not even to its writers. This derives in large part, I think, from the absurdity inherent in exchanging six to eight hours a…