Free Metaphor: “Lower North American”

2010.07.26
By

0. CONCISION AND PRECISION ARE ESSENTIAL components of the modern metaphor. What your end-user metaphorager is looking for is light in the mouth and easy on the fingers, especially when describing social groups — you want something tight enough to express the point but loose enough to avoid looking like a stereotyping (and -typical) fool.

1. The challenge is greater when describing cultures within a geographical area. Specifically, what to conversationally call those of us residing between Mexico and Canada? “Americans” leaves out residents of those countries, as well as everyone south until the Patagonians (who, despite their patient excellence for crafting outdoor gear, are sticklers for self-affiliative accuracy). Likewise “USAtians,” which makes us sound like some exotic water dog; “USAers,” which is either a cheerleading squad or a reality-show; “Yankees,” which I object to as a diehard Red Sox fan; and “United States citizens,” whose formal appeal is outweighed by its clunkiness.

2. Therefore, I suggest “Lower North American.” It’s got a nice cadence (“LOWuh NORthuh MEruh Can”), easy informality and even compresses to a txtable “LNA” (which so far as I can see will only confuse us with amplifiers, shy nucleotides and members of the new Let’s Not Ask public-ignorance campaign).

So, friends, next time you’re stuck for a self-descriptive metaphor for hepcats, expats and diplomats, reach for smooth, satisfying Lower North America. Remember: Lower North America. It’s where we are now.

(Link here: http://metaphorager.net/lna)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Tumblr
  • PDF

Tags: , , , , ,

6 Responses to Free Metaphor: “Lower North American”

  1. Alan K Lipton Toopoint-Oh on 2010.07.26 at 1058

    To Alaskans, residents of the other 49 states might be called Outer Americans. Every time a resident leaves the state, they say they’re going “out.”

  2. Carl Thelen on 2010.07.26 at 1058

    I might throw in “Ignorant Americans”, but that’s too close to the truth….

    • Me Taphorager on 2010.07.26 at 1101

      @CT: Well, there’s the scansion issue again. ;-) Plus, that’s not exactly how I’d refer to myself — despite any possible verisimilitude thereof.

  3. Patricia Ann Clark on 2010.07.26 at 0805

    PS – And not to lob gravelly projectiles from my pane-constructed dwelling: I include myself and my own need to lose the 20 I gained last year.

    • Me Taphorager on 2010.07.26 at 0808

      On you it looks good. (Full disclosure: I was sort of also considering “Middle North Americans;” you may have picked up on that.)

  4. Patricia Ann Clark on 2010.07.26 at 0805

    Since the U.S. is between Canada and Mexico, I was going to suggest that we be called “Central Americans,” but I guess that would be confusing. Of course, given our obesity rates, we could go with a descriptive and call our country “Fat America.” Sadly, the rest of the world would know exactly which America that is.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

Recent Tales

Prosatio Silban and the Starving Survivor

A BUOPOTH IS A STRANGE beast: some say it is half-composed of men’s dreams, others prefer not to speculate. But of the little that...

Read more »

Prosatio Silban and the Visitor From The Sands

PROSATIO SILBAN WAS NOT KNOWN for nothing as “The Cook For Any Price.” He had long ago foresworn the Sacreanthood and serving people’s souls...

Read more »

The Poet

HE COULDN’T TELL WHETHER HE loved beauty or women more until the day he called his mom and said “Guess what? I’m marrying a...

Read more »

Storyteller’s Knot

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF any story is the point at which it’s attached to the reader.

Read more »

Thumbs Up

THE PACK ON YOUR BACK is both reassuring and cumbersome for what seems the third hour of shadeless noon as you think, “This one...

Read more »

Recently

May 2012
S M T W T F S
« Jan    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Rewind

Wine Country Weather


Click for Forecast

Ritual Hat Pass

G'bless'ye, sir or madam.

You Can't Stop The Signal:
Celebrating the remaining days:hours:etc until Apophis II. Live it up, Earthlings.

Favicon Plugin created by Jake Ruston's Wordpress Plugins - Powered by Briefcases and r4 ds card.