Prosatio Silban and the Golden Moment

You’ve read the preface. Now here’s the introduction.

ALTHOUGH A SELF-DEFROCKED SACREANT, Prosatio Silban retained a sensitivity to the more spiritual aspects of his daily routine — but since his was the life of a traveling cook in a buopoth-drawn galleywagon, “routine” was only partially applicable.

His days usually began the same way: arise from his bunk in the galleywagon’s rear; feed his buopoth, Onward, a morning fatberry-cake; make small greetings to the Flickering Gods; and breakfast on a poppyhorn and large mug of hot, lightly sugared yava laced with thick cream.

Next, he would inventory the galleywagon’s generally well-stocked pantry and coldbox (the latter a waist-high, silver-edged cube of magiked glacier-ice).

365 Names: “Teacher”

TEACHER The active metaphor here is that G?d has set lessons all around us, and it’s our job to discover them; imagine everything in the Universe labeled with a great big “LEARN HERE” sticker. No one of us really knows anybody else’s lesson, and in fact, it’s none of anyone else’s business what those lessons are. It’s a secret between us and what-some-choose-to-call-G?d. And isn’t it nice having a secret that you don’t have to share?

Day of At-Onement

IT’S HARD TO DESCRIBE THE feeling I get around 1 or 2 p.m. on Yom Kippur afternoon with no food since the previous evening. It’s an intellectual, buzzy sort of consciousness: colors are brighter, outlines sharper, and an almost euphoric state of clarity sets in. At our synagogue we take a service-break from about 12:30 until 4:30 p.m. — some people go home to nap or introspect, others hang out at the sanctuary to pray or meditate or just sit in community. As for me, I go home to feed the cat, engage in (what I hope is) honest self-criticism, and study something appropriate.

Words to Bring Back: “Probity”

– Definition: n. Virtue or integrity tested and confirmed.

– Used in a sentence: If our elected officials had more probity, there would be less Congressional probing.

– Why: Actually, I’m not sure whether it’s the word or the concept that needs bringing back. Probably a bit of both.

Happy 5780!

THE WORLD MAY NOT HAVE begun 5.780 years ago — in fact, it didn’t — but since we’ve likely had writing for about that long, we might say that today’s traditional Jewish date may well mark written history’s 5,780th birthday. And isn’t that the next best thing? May your year be sweet, joyful, instructive, fulfilling, productive, energizing and everything else you hope it will be. L’Shana Tovah from The Metaphorager!

Fiction: Act of Who?

“THANK YOU FOR CALLING TOTAL Auto, may I help you?”

“Yes, my car was swept away in the recent floods, and I would like to file a claim.”

“I’m sorry sir, but flood coverage isn’t included in any of our policies.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Flood coverage isn’t included in any of our automotive insurance policies. If you look at your policy statement, you’ll see that items such as flood, hailstorms, sinkholes, etc., are what we call ‘acts of God.’ We can’t insure against something like that.”

“Why not?”

If church worked, you’d only need to go once.”
— Pastor Rich Gantenbein, a”h