Tag: “Bob”

Cult of the Hidden Joke.

Deadline: 2036

ONE THING I MISS ABOUT the pre-21st-century days is the sense of humanity plunging headlong toward some destination. These days, that collective goal seems hellbound and handbasket-wrapped. But in the days and years leading up to 1/1/2000, the Great Rollover,…

Generational Drift

BY OUR BEST CALCULATIONS, HISTORY began in Sumer when people first started writing things down (there are some examples of probable earlier scripts, but no one’s translated them yet). This would be about 6,000 years ago. Let’s assume twenty-five years…

Taste of Fame

HOW MUCH OF THEIR OWN flavors do, or can, Ben & Jerry’s’ honorees eat? Is there a celebrity discount? Free ice-cream for a lifetime, as long as you eat your own flavor? At what point do you just feed it…

Dear Hollywood …

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON MARKETING to us as though we were all ignorant, venal, cynical, cruel, swinish oafs? We at The Metaphorager decry these loutish generalizations and will boycott the offending generalizers: we may not starve you into submission,…

How To Wash The Dishes

CLEAN DISHES NOT ONLY LOOK nice, they’re more healthy to eat from. Everyone has their own special method for this daily (or twice-daily) chore, and I’ve found this one to be most efficient in terms of time and water savings:…