WHAT THE HUMANS DIDN’T REALIZE was that, for everyone else in the galaxy, it was largely considered bad form, and even bad luck, to visit planets settled by intelligent apes. (You’d think the quality of their UFO sightings would be a tip-off.)
Tag: “Bob”
Cult of the Hidden Joke.
Deadline: 2036
ONE THING I MISS ABOUT the pre-21st-century days is the sense of humanity plunging headlong toward some destination. These days, that collective goal seems hellbound and handbasket-wrapped. But in the days and years leading up to 1/1/2000, the Great Rollover,…
Generational Drift
BY OUR BEST CALCULATIONS, HISTORY began in Sumer when people first started writing things down (there are some examples of probable earlier scripts, but no one’s translated them yet). This would be about 6,000 years ago. Let’s assume twenty-five years…
Taste of Fame
HOW MUCH OF THEIR OWN flavors do, or can, Ben & Jerry’s’ honorees eat? Is there a celebrity discount? Free ice-cream for a lifetime, as long as you eat your own flavor? At what point do you just feed it…
Business Plan
THERE MUST BE A WAY to get rich selling extra spaces as attachments for Scrabble boards…
BUT WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?!?!?
QUIZ SHOW OVERHEARD ON THE TV as I entered the living room: That’s right, ‘Illuminati’ is the answer! You’ve won $100!”
Ol’ Thinkypants Groks
“HEY, MAN, IF YOU WERE in high school when the original Star Wars came out, you know exactly what I mean.”
Metaphorager Hope’d
(Tip o’ th’ Metaphorager Topper to obamaicon.me!)
Dear Hollywood …
WHY DO YOU INSIST ON MARKETING to us as though we were all ignorant, venal, cynical, cruel, swinish oafs? We at The Metaphorager decry these loutish generalizations and will boycott the offending generalizers: we may not starve you into submission,…
Another “Next Big Thing”
“LOOMING” (N): PEOPLE BEHIND STUFF.
Pithyism #3 up, 3 down
WOULDN’T YOU RATHER SEE A good game than a great hit? (Derived from a conversation on a public lament for baseball players on steroids.) (Yes, I said for.)