Prosatio Silban and the Assembly Eclectic

AS THE WISE SAY: “Some aspirations should remain so.”

Prosatio Silban put the finishing touches on a plate of fidget-hen confit and pureed artichokes, and stood back to admire it. I don’t know how I do it, but I’m glad and grateful that I can, he thought in expectation of his longtime customer’s expression. Blessings to you, O Julchi, Goddess of Autodidactic Gastronomy!

With the steaming plate balanced on one raised hand, he descended his galleywagon’s three wooden steps, then sauntered over to a table-and-chairs where sat a pleasant-faced and stylish woman of his own middling years. He placed the dish before her with a flourish, and she sighed in anticipatory delight.

“I don’t know how you do it, Master Prosatio,” she said. “You never disappoint.”

Never allow what you cannot do to control what you can do.”
— Rabbi Avi Weiss

Word to Bring Back: “Prig”

– Definition: noun a self-righteously moralistic person who behaves as if superior to others.
– Used in a sentence: Scratch a prig, find a hypocrite.
– Why: To name a thing is to control it — either by voting it out of office, or changing the channel.

Camouflage (A Prosatio Silban Amuse-Bouche)

“WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF garnishes?” asked one of Prosatio Silban’s regular customers as he set down a healthy portion of sauced beef-loin with accordion potatoes.

“That is a complicated question, and one which inspires many different answers,” The Cook For Any Price replied with a thank-you-for-asking grin. “My own understanding is that they visually accent the dishes they accompany, making them appear more appetizing.”

“Then why do you not use them in your own cuisine?” came the riposte.

The cook-errant’s grin widened. “Because I believe that’s the plate’s function,” he said. “Anything else is mere indulgence.”

(If you’re new to these tales, here are the preface and introduction. And if you want more of them, in two easy-to-read packages, here are the first and second e-books!)

I believe life’s a mystery; a sacred one. As for faith, that’s a personal and private thing…”
– John Walton Sr.

From Commonwell Cookery

BY GREAT POPULAR DEMAND, AND barring any unforeseen circumstances, forthcoming editions of The Cook For Any Price — both Across the Rimless Sea and More Commonwell Tales — are planned to include a smattering of appended recipes. Until then, here are four to tempt your mental tastebuds:

From Prosatio Silban and the Centuried Stew: “Stew”

This recipe has undergone modification by generations of one family, as the original ingredients became unavailable. It is said that the original flavor remains unchanged, which makes sense as the original ingredients are still lurking comfortably in the background.

To cook: Begin by sautéing a mixture of onion, carrot, and celery in an enormous cauldron. When those have cooked down into pliability, add sufficient quantities of preserved apple, spiced vanth, twile, jugged harrian, and potent moon-wine. Simmer for eight hundred years, adding such substitutes and seasonings as are dictated by the cooks’ faithful and experienced palates.

To serve: Ladle into unglazed earthenware cup or bowl and eat with a small wooden spoon. Mind that your knees don’t buckle.

Blades Runner

THIS IS THE TALE OF a third-degree separation from two of the most prestigious knifemakers in Europe.

In addition to regular sharpening and honing, home cooks are supposed to have their knives professionally sharpened once yearly. Thus, one recent Friday, I dutifully handed over two 8″ chef’s knives (a thick one for meats, a thin one for plants) to our beloved local kitchen-supply store. Having received and paid for the knives the following Sunday, I brought them home, washed them off, gave them the thumbnail test, and set about chopping an onion for chicken soup.