Writing

From Commonwell Cookery

BY GREAT POPULAR DEMAND, AND barring any unforeseen circumstances, forthcoming editions of The Cook For Any Price — both Across the Rimless Sea and More Commonwell Tales — are planned to include a smattering of appended recipes. Until then, here are four to tempt your mental tastebuds:

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From Prosatio Silban and the Centuried Stew: “Stew”

This recipe has undergone modification by generations of one family, as the original ingredients became unavailable. It is said that the original flavor remains unchanged, which makes sense as the original ingredients are still lurking comfortably in the background.

To cook: Begin by sautéing a mixture of onion, carrot, and celery in an enormous cauldron. When those have cooked down into pliability, add sufficient quantities of preserved apple, spiced vanth, twile, jugged harrian, and potent moon-wine. Simmer for eight hundred years, adding such substitutes and seasonings as are dictated by the cooks’ faithful and experienced palates.

To serve: Ladle into unglazed earthenware cup or bowl and eat with a small wooden spoon. Mind that your knees don’t buckle.

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Food

Blades Runner

THIS IS THE TALE OF a third-degree separation from two of the most prestigious knifemakers in Europe.

In addition to regular sharpening and honing, home cooks are supposed to have their knives professionally sharpened once yearly. Thus, one recent Friday, I dutifully handed over two 8″ chef’s knives (a thick one for meats, a thin one for plants) to our beloved local kitchen-supply store. Having received and paid for the knives the following Sunday, I brought them home, washed them off, gave them the thumbnail test, and set about chopping an onion for chicken soup.

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Crit, Writing

Private Fame

TO AN AMATEUR SKYWATCHER (in the original sense of that first word), the beginning of the month is quite special; it’s when the new issue of Astronomy arrives. Among that magazine’s many excellent features and fixtures is “Ask Astro,” where experts answer readers’ questions. Here is something from the May 2023 “Ask Astro” that — well, just look:

May 2023 Ask Astro feature

Living, Torah

Prophylaxis

THE MISSIONARY AT THE DOOR was polite but insistent as she tried to hand me a tract.

I bowed my head and pointed to my yarmulke. “No thank you,” I said.

Her eyes widened and her mouth made a little “o” of consternation as she backed away. “Thank you for being so courteous,” she said.

“You’re welcome,” I said, and closed the door.

Usually, my “yarmie” acts as a lighthouse for interesting conversations. It’s good, and a little sad, that it can also act as a conversation stopper.

Crit

Words to Bring Back: “Shambolic”

– Definition: adj.; chiefly British chaotic, disorganized, or mismanaged.
– Used in a sentence: Our political and cultural landscapes have become shambolic as all get-out.
– Why: Because we need a more polite (and adjectival) descriptor than… those in current usage.

Food

Bonite a la Maison A.

ALBACORE GETS ALL THE PRESS when it comes to canned tuna, but skipjack is the preference ’round here due to its richer flavor. (Think of it as a “white meat / dark meat” thing.) And the preference for preparing an economical and delicious sandwich of same is as follows:

Drain two cans of pole-caught, no-salt-added skipjack ($2.29 a can at our local Whole Foods). Flake into desired container. Add a few squirts of Tabasco and some fresh-ground black pepper to taste, enough dill relish to provide a nice crunch, and a modest squeeze of anchovy paste. Moisten with sufficient ranch dressing to hold everything together and mix thoroughly.

To serve: Toast some good bread as dark as you like it. Spread one piece thickly with skipjack mixture, top with a leaf or two of romaine lettuce, and top that with the other toast-slice. Cut diagonally and place both halves at an angle on a suitable plate, fill the intervening space with kettle-cooked potato chips, and have at!