– Definition: v. 1. hit or beat (someone) repeatedly 2. defeat thoroughly in a match or contest – Used in a sentence: Isn’t it nice when the Bad Guys finally get a well-deserved drubbing? – Why: Because “B.T.S.O.O. him” is…
Category: Writing
My own serious stuff; the craft itself; those who inspire me in it; the art of reading.
Ancient History (A Prosatio Silban Tale)
A CHANCE ENCOUNTER CAN SOMETIMES be profitable – but the profit, though rich, needn’t necessarily be monetary. The sun was just kissing the golden-hilled western horizon when Prosatio Silban pulled up on the plaited yak-hair reins, signaling his dray-beast to…
Humoronomics (Pithyism #3=1)
A JOKE, ANECDOTE, OR SHAGGY-DOG story should be no longer than necessitated by the redemptive power of its punch line.
Prosatio Silban and the Pernicious Wishes
PROSATIO SILBAN STOOD UP, WIPED his hands on his kneebreeches and cursed mildly in the name of a minor god. If only this wheel hadn’t broken, he thought, I’d now be in many-harbored Soharis cooking fresh-caught fish for wealthy or…
Prosatio Silban and the Keeper of Memories
“I AM THE KEEPER OF Memories,” said the man in the natty blue silk robe. “What do you offer?” “For your custom, or your breakfast?” replied Prosatio Silban. “Breakfast first!” cried the Keeper of Memories, and chuckled. “Always. Food before…
Prosatio Silban and the Disconsolate Wineherd
EVEN OVER THE CLANK OF his galleywagon, Prosatio Silban could hear the sobs. The weeper, a well-to-do farmer by his dress, was standing beside a smartly-appointed and -laden oxcart at the crossroads near Vineol, a town renowned throughout the Uulian…
Prosatio Silban and the Haunted Oyster
OF ALL THE THINGS THAT make the Three Cities and Thousand Villages of the Uulian Commonwell unique, perhaps none so typify that uniqueness as their calendar. Where other peoples marked time in a strictly numeric fashion, the Uulians used a…
Metaphoraging Roundup 2020
AS THE EARTH RETURNS IN its orbit to where it was last year, here is a look at the top ten posts The Metaphorager’s readers enjoyed (I hope) during the past twelve months: My Favorite Jewish Joke – 80 Views…
A Prosatio Silban Amuse-Bouche: Meals
“WHAT MAKES A MEAL A meal?” asked one of Prosatio Silban‘s customers over a plate of pan-seared fidget-hen breast, green beans and blue rice. “Many have attempted to define that term,” answered the Cook For Any Price, wiping his hands…
Gustibus Interruptus (A Prosatio Silban Tale)
WITH A PATIENCE DERIVED FROM long practice, Prosatio Silban measured his pain and disgust against the vast cold deeps of Time. It was an old reflex, and a welcome corrective to the blood trickling from his arms and legs, not…
Prosatio Silban and the Hidden Kingdom
THEY WERE STURDY, SQUAT AND rowdy, but also virtuosi of fire and metal – which was only one of many reasons why Prosatio Silban always enjoyed the Delvers’ company. He had arrived for the first time at their northern realm…
Prosatio Silban and the Quest Authentic
PROSATIO SILBAN DIDN’T ACTUALLY MEAN to offend a decedent cook – but sometimes, that’s just how the game-bones fall. This is how it began: The culinary mercenary was browsing his favorite secondhand book-and-scroll shop in the city of epicurean Pormaris…