5 Thoughts: One Size Doesn’t Fit All

1. IT IS EXTREMELY LAME TO apologize to people electronically en masse. But I’m going to do it anyway.

2. It’s like this: Wednesday night begins Yom Kippur, which marks the end of the annual “Ten Days of Repentance.” “Repent” literally means “to feel and express remorse;” it’s the necessary first step toward “atonement,” or actually doing something about the parts of one’s life that evoke self-shame, regret, sorrow, et al.

3. Thus: If I have barked instead of growled, growled instead of wagged, paid less attention to you than I ought, not taken you as seriously as you needed, or disrespected your emotions or boundaries or personal space in the past year, please: Let me know so that I can fix it. I really don’t want to be That Guy. (You know the breed.)

4. Last week, I read something about self-improvement which profoundly clicked: Rather than working to change your individual acts, try picturing the sort of person you want to be — i.e., the one who doesn’t do the acts you want to change. E.g., instead of resolving to be more polite, try be the one for whom politeness comes naturally. Or if that’s still too difficult, at least try not to be That Guy.

5. This sounds easy, right? Believe me — it’s not. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. But that’s no excuse for not doing it. Baby steps + intense self-reflection = a less tangled life. By these small acts, let us all move forward.