Aside

“GOD” IS NOT A FAN club.

Deadline: 2036

ONE THING I MISS ABOUT the pre-21st-century days is the sense of humanity plunging headlong toward some destination.

These days, that collective goal seems hellbound and handbasket-wrapped. But in the days and years leading up to 1/1/2000, the Great Rollover, that sense of heading toward something great and mysterious was sometimes almost palpable. Maybe it’s because we could see a deadline.

Deadlines are wonderful tools for focusing the mind. Without one, I find myself picking listlessly at the keyboard; with one, I have an excuse, however small, to get off the couch. And that’s important. Our planet’s emerging global culture is lacking something without that sense of notional and communal quasi-closure, and I would like to offer a replacement.

In just about 25 years, give or take a month (or, to put it more or less as accurately as I can, in
days:hours:etc.) an asteroid named Apophis will make its second pass at Earth and quite possibly collide with it. That’s about as dead a deadline as you can get, but it’s also a good chunk of time — it’s a quarter-century off, which is sort of good news for us would-be codgers as it obviates the need for Social Security and other obligations; it’s close enough to inspire the imagination, yet far enough to finally develop those %$#@! jetpacks. And it’s a great excuse, however small, to get off the couch.

April 13, 2036. I hope to see you there.

Aside

“THAT’S NOT ONLY BRILLIANT — IT’S ‘why-didn’t-I-think-of-that’ brilliant.”

Moving Lines

“FOR GOD’S SAKE LET US sit upon the ground And tell sad stories of the death of kings.”
— Wm. Shakspere, Richard II

“Are you a dream, Merlin?”
“A dream, to some. A NIGHTMARE TO OTHERS.”
— Excalibur

“Well, it’s easy if you know all the notes!”
— Moosie Weinberger, a”h, on playing the piano with her nose

“Never give up. Never surrender.”
— Cmdr. Peter Quincy Taggart

“Are we having fun, yet?”
— Zippy the Pinhead

“Many days you have lingered around my cabin door
Oh! hard times come again no more.”
— Folk song

“In former dreams he had seen quaint lumbering buopoths come shyly out of that wood to drink, but now he could not glimpse any.”
— H. P. Lovecraft, The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath

“We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.”
— Wm. Shakespear, King Henry IV pt. II