Tag: cooking

Creations a la Chez Nealo.

Blow ‘Em Out

AS DETAILED IN A PREVIOUS post (c. 2010), every March my sister asks what I would like for my birthday (it’s on the 22d, BTW) and my answer is always the same: “I already have everything I need.” That said, and for the sake of obliging my sibling for my 58th year, I do still have a semi-whimsical list, with some items apropos an autodidactic home cook. Go wild, Susan!

– Working tricorder or lightsaber
– Warp-capable spacecamper (preferably Danube-class)
– Several plain black short-sleeved T-shirts, size L
– Hawaiian shirt (or two), size L
– Pea coat, size L Continue reading “Blow ‘Em Out”

How to Dress a Salad

THIS IS A DEVICE OF my own invention, based on a semi-traditional vinaigrette formula, with additives. It will keep unrefrigerated for a couple of weeks (perhaps longer, but at a salad or two a week I haven’t had a chance to test that theory yet).

Into a shakeable container (a Mason or jam jar, say), put:

1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1/4 tsp garlic salt
1/4 tsp ground black pepper
1/2 tsp Italian seasoning blend
1/4 tsp sugar
Salt (to taste, if needed) Continue reading “How to Dress a Salad”

Why I Love: Cooking (Rewind)

IT’S THE PROCESS OF SCRAWLING ingredients on a shopping list, buying them, unpacking them, staging them, using them. It’s the quiet alchemy of watching those ingredients transform into something delicious and nourishing. It’s the adrenaline rush of following a new recipe. (It’s also the guided meditation of following a familiar recipe.) It’s the self-esteem that comes from self-reliance. It’s the slow accumulation of skills with knife, skillet, slow cooker and baking dish. It’s flashing back on Michael Pollan’s Cooked and making meal-preparation a political act. It’s the delicious and home-filling smells, and the quiet but ear-filling sounds. It’s the saving (and using) of leftovers. Continue reading “Why I Love: Cooking (Rewind)”

ORL Interview: Ivan Stang

INTERVIEWING ONE’S CULTURAL HEROES IS one of the greatest thrills of a career in journalism — even of amateur journalism. Such was the position in which I found myself while working for Obscure Research Labs in the early-to-mid-1990s. It gave me an insider’s excuse to pester thinker and novelist Robert Anton Wilson, and granted equal access to Church of the SubGenius co-founder Ivan Stang. Herewith this interview, conducted through the mail and slightly edited for clarity and length, which first appeared in Far Corner v1n7, c. 1993. Kick back, slack off and enjoy this longest-by-far of The Metaphorager’s 800+ posts. Continue reading “ORL Interview: Ivan Stang”

5 Thoughts: Confessions of a Vicarious Eater

1. “WHAT DID YOU EAT?” THIS question works its way into every conversation I have or had with someone (online and off) relating to culinary experiences.

2. There’s a reason for this: I am obsessed with matters gastronomical. Not in a bad way; perhaps “obsessed” is the wrong word. “Deeply fascinated” would be a better descriptor. I simply enjoy cooking, eating, discussing, and reading about food in all its wonderful forms — especially if they’re unfamiliar to me.

3. I come by it honestly. When I was a kid, whenever we’d go to a restaurant and see something unfamiliar on the menu, my dad would say “Bring us two orders of whatever that is.” Continue reading “5 Thoughts: Confessions of a Vicarious Eater”

First Graf: The Physiology of Taste

THE FIRST BOOK THAT ACTUALLY got me thinking about food as something other than tasty fuel with which to stuff my face was Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin’s 1825 work, The Physiology of Taste; or, Meditations on Transcendental Gastronomy. Part travelogue, part autobiography, part science text, Physiology deals with such pleasant problems as how to cook a fish that’s too big for the oven; the exacting method of digestion; why restaurateurs do what they do; how to survive a revolution; how to lose weight; and how to make the perfect cup of hot chocolate or coffee. Continue reading “First Graf: The Physiology of Taste”

My Favorite Jewish Joke

OKAY MOSES,” SAID GOD. “HERE’S another commandment: Don’t boil a kid in its mother’s milk.”
“You mean, don’t eat meat and milk together?”
“No. Don’t boil a kid in its mother’s milk.”
“You mean we should have separate dishes for meat and dairy?”
“No. Don’t boil a kid in its mother’s milk.”
“You mean we should wait a few hours after eating meat before we eat dairy?”
“Moses,” said God,”do whatever the hell you want.”

Cook’s Toolbox

ONE OF THE FIRST QUESTIONS a new home-cook asks is, “Besides food, what do I need in order to cook?” Fortunately, someone has supplied the answer.

Despite the odd spelling, thekitchn.com is probably my favorite foodie website. Its editors send out a daily email filled with recipes and kitchen/household management tips, many of which I dutifully print off in anticipation of future and present use. They recently published a guide to equipping a home kitchen called “All The Kitchen Essentials You Need — For Just $310,” with the advice that you can cut that relatively low, low price for 20 items by browsing thrift shops, garage sales, etc. Continue reading “Cook’s Toolbox”

5 Thoughts: Grocery Shopping

1. IT USED TO BE CALLED “doing the marketing.” And it is one of my life’s favorite small pleasures.

2. This simple joy can probably be traced back to my dad and I doing it together every Saturday or Sunday morning (or so goes my memory), when I was a young’un in Massachusetts. We would visit one store for meat, another for produce, another for household products, yet another for baked goods. Continue reading “5 Thoughts: Grocery Shopping”

First Graf: An Everlasting Meal

THIS IS THE BOOK THAT inspired me to cook for myself. It demystified for me the cooking process, shored up my nascent resolve, and gave me the mental tools I needed to commit the revolutionary act of not settling for or eating processed food anymore (aside from cheese, bread, and other fermented eatables, of course). It also contains, as Chapter 12, the greatest food essay ever written, which — as I have noted elseblog — adjures you to call upon your inner chef to arise when you’re sick of cooking. (No mean feat, that.) Continue reading “First Graf: An Everlasting Meal”

First Graf: The Gourmet’s Lexicon

SITTING ON MY BOOKSHELF IS a slim purple volume from 1982 called The Gourmet’s Lexicon, an encyclopedic and indispensable listing of cuisines, dishes, and cooking techniques and styles. What Webster was to words, author Norman Kolpas is to food. Often I will leaf through it at random, trying to expand my cookery-consciousness; other times I will use it to look up something I see mentioned in a recipe or on a cooking documentary. (I’ve even used it as a basis for a few Prosatio Silban tales.) Whatever the need or occasion, it’s a fine ingredient in any cook’s or foodie’s library. Continue reading “First Graf: The Gourmet’s Lexicon”

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