Eternal Youth Can Be Yours

STAYING YOUNG IS not easy, but here are four anti-aging actions proven effective if taken in large measures (the first three all but guarantee the fourth):

1. Stay curious.

2. Stay funny.

3. Stay musical.

4. Stay joyful.

Follow these simple directives, and eternal youth can be yours for as long as you want. (Your body will eventually fall apart, but until then, your soul will remain supple and pure as a shiny-faced child’s.) You have nothing to lose but your grumpiness!

I-80 Days

IF IT HADN’T been for my Uncle Ben, I would never have made it from Reno to New Hampshire by way of New York City.

But I did.

On a Greyhound bus.

In the summer of 1985.

I was twenty-three years old, with an untested cockiness to match, and exceedingly hopped up on Jack Kerouac’s On The Road. Visions of undiscovered worlds made my soles itchy. Besides, my friends were having similar adventures – why not me? So I accoutered myself with essentials from the local (Pleasant Hill, CA) sporting-goods store – backpack, sleeping bag, and various important-to-me contents – and set out.

The plan was to hitchhike cross-country to visit my Dad in Plymouth, NH, where he ran a small and popular diner. After hitchhiking to Humboldt County and spending a lost month with some former roommates, however, I realized that the United States was bigger than it looked on a map – so big, in fact, that it somewhat quelled my cockiness. I managed to thumb my way from Bridgeville to South Lake Tahoe and thence to Reno. My cash reserves were low enough to give me second thoughts about this mission, but after concluding that I couldn’t go back home, having made such a public fuss about my proposed great eastern pilgrimage, I called my rich uncle in Salt Lake City and threw myself on his mercy.

“Come to my house and we’ll talk about it,” he said, and wired me a bus ticket.

Thus I left Reno in a cloud of diesel smoke, trundling across Nevada on Interstate 80 as day eased into night. We arrived at the Salt Lake City Greyhound station around 3 a.m. A teenaged and mohawked punk sat down beside me and asked if I wanted to buy a mouse.

“A mouse?” I asked, befuddled by the hour and the trip. “What kind of mouse?”

“You know, a mouse,” he said, producing a live white rodent from the chest pocket of his jeans jacket.

I politely declined, just as my sleepy aunt pulled up in her family’s car and whisked me homeward to a welcome meal and shower.

I spent a couple of days wandering about Salt Lake City – which at that time had no public phones, no public bars, and many Mormon missionaries. My uncle was kind enough to lend me $600 for bus fare to New York (and expenses), and I was off again.

Now, I wryly confess that after almost exactly forty-one intervening years of a sometimes-checkered life, only flickering and disordered impressions remain of that epic three-day trek. But here’s some of what I recall:

– The slowly changing landscape captivated my eyes and imagination. Deserts, dry lakes, cornfields, cities, small towns, mountains; I was particularly taken by crossing the Continental Divide, and later the Mississippi River, as announced by two of our many drivers. I had often heard of and read about these important pieces of American geography, but seeing them in person was something quite unexpectedly else. This country of ours is vast – vast enough to swallow whole a suburban 23-year-old who had inaccurately reckoned its size through fevered but uninformed fantasies. And the further we went, the better I felt about trading my thumb for a bus seat.

– In Cheyenne, Wyoming, one of my seatmates pawned some of his belongings (at least, he said they were his). We used the proceeds to buy a couple of bottles of booze, which we then sold to the other rear-of-the-bus passengers for $1 a shot. We became so merry as our bus rolled through the black velvet night that the driver threatened to put us all off.

– Evidently, Burger King had some sort of agreement with the Greyhound company, because all the major (and some of the minor) I-80 bus stations between Reno and New York stood cheek-by-jowl with the famous fast-food outlets. Hungry, but not knowing much about thrift, I repeatedly stocked up on enough hamburgers and fries and cans of Coke Zero to fortify me through the long foodless stretches of subsequent highway. Believe it or not, they actually tasted good cold.

– “Smoke a cigarette,” the biker in the next seat told me, offering his pack. “It’ll stave off your hunger until we reach Milwaukee.”

– In Chicago, I washed up in the bowels of the Sears Tower (the bus station men’s room was located in its basement). For some reason I set my wallet on top of the towel dispenser, where I promptly forgot about it and walked out. A minute later, panicked, I ran back inside. For some reason, it still lay there – untouched.

– Three days of close-quarter life-swapping kept us all distracted from the monotony of the seemingly endless road. We shared our individual missions, family histories, and dreams of the future, promising to keep in touch when our voyage ended. (We didn’t.)

– Grapefruit juice, always my go-to citrus refresher, tasted wonderful washing down cold burgers at 1 a.m. in Cleveland.

– Most poignant passenger: “Don’t end up like me,” warned the sad-eyed older man across the aisle. “I haven’t been home in years; I just wander from place to place looking for somewhere to settle down.” He later asked if I thought my dad could give him a job in his New Hampshire diner. I don’t remember what I said, but I hope it was kind.

– As we finally pulled into the New York Port Authority terminal, our driver recited an inspirational poem: Rudyard Kipling’s If, or something like. Whatever it was, it made my eyes water.

In New York, I visited my dad’s mom, who then lived in the same Brooklyn apartment building my father grew up in, and saw some familiar sights that my dad introduced me to when I was a younger lad – including Coney Island and Times Square (albeit the latter at 3 a.m.). After passing through Central Park near dinnertime, I encountered The Dakota skyscraper, where John Lennon lived until he was killed only a few years previously. I walked up to the incurious-eyed doorman.

“Where did it happen?” I asked in a solemn tone.

He silently pointed at the sidewalk, with the air of a man who was sick of being asked that particular question.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, shuffling off.

The next leg of the trip, New York to Boston to Plymouth, New Hampshire, passed relatively quickly – totaling just over three hundred miles, compared to the continent-spanning stretch I had just endured – and was memorable only by a late-night Boston arrival and the Plymouth bus’s absence until the next morning. Unsure what to do at that hour, I wandered into what the plaque outside claimed was the original bar which inspired the television show Cheers. It was a half-hour until closing time, and at this far remove, all I remember is a drunk yuppie pulling on my beard and a kindly New Hampshire-bound Coast Guardsman who told me we were in the same boat (pun intended). He indicated my sleeping bag and his own well-stuffed duffle.

“Best thing for you to do in this city is stick with me,” he said. “The bus terminal will be open all night, and we can sleep on a couple of benches.”

So we did. The Plymouth bus arrived around 6 a.m., and following a pleasant meander through the New England woods, by noon I was embracing my father again after a period of some years. I intended to visit for a week, stayed for a year, learned how to run an offset printing press, then hitchhiked to Burlington, Vermont, and headed home to the Bay Area.

Older and wiser, I went by plane.

Secret Signposts

HIDDEN SOCIAL NETS surround us everywhere we go, and those who know – know.

Example? Sure!

I was shopping in one of my favorite grocery stores earlier today when the guy behind the butchers’ counter noticed my black Firefly T-shirt.

“Nice shirt!” he said with a wide grin.

“Thank you,” I said, bowing.

Now, he could have added something like, “I’m a Firefly fan too.” Or “I really like that series.” Or even “How long have you been a fan?”

But instead, he indicated the leather bomber-jacket I was wearing (Sonoma mornings are cold these days) and said with a wider grin, “I see you’re a real Browncoat.”

If none of this makes sense to you, allow me to explain. Instead of stating the obvious, my fellow fan responded with another insider’s reference. You see, the shirt in question doesn’t feature the title of the show or anything like that – the only way to “get it” is if you recognize the image and motto: a burnt-umber image of the titular spaceship above the motto, “STAY SHINY.” If you don’t, then no harm done. His comment told me right away that he got it. And his grin told me that he was enjoying our little secret signpost as much as I was.

Connections. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Put Your Hand on the Radio

A RABBINICAL ASSISTANT, two deacons, and a lay mystic walk into a radio studio.

Seriously.

Welcome to the Sonoma Valley Interfaith Radio Hour, a years-old, live and lively round-robin every Thursday afternoon from 3-4pm Pacific Time on Sonoma Valley’s independent station KSVY (91.3 FM and streaming/archived at ksvy.org). It features one Jew (me), the deacons (Presbyterian and Roman Catholic), and a Christian Science practitioner. (With occasional guesting by my rabbi, by an Irish Catholic priest, and by whoever else we can grab from our local ecumenical Cobb salad.)

Our informal discussions cover broad ground: e.g., different faith traditions’ understandings and manifestations of moral and ethical ideals; life-cycle events such as birth, coming of age, marriage and divorce, and dying/mourning; the multiform flavors of our worship services; observing holidays and holy days; encounters with the Bible and other holy books; and how we ourselves each came to our respective “ministries.” We have deep respect for each other’s religious backgrounds and deep attachments to our own – as our Presbyterian emcee puts it, “We’re all swimming in the same direction” – and are on the air not to convert or proselytize, but to educate, enlighten, and (we hope) edify.

What also makes the show work, I think, is that outside of our collegial collective, the Valley prides itself on a thriving interfaith fellowship; we’re so geographically isolated, it’s to our evolutionary advantage to get along as well as we do. It helps, too, that through our long association we have become quite close – itself a byproduct of sharing intensely real conversations every week. And speaking personally, I find that learning about others’ sacred practices makes me understand and appreciate my own that much more. Tune us in and see if that’s true for you!

The Cook For Any Price: Now With Art!

JUST A QUICK NOTE to announce that, thanks to the talents of locally famous Sonoma artist and musician Jon Shannon Williams, my e-books now have handsome new covers – which (I strongly believe) are reminiscent of The Brothers Hildebrandt (Google same if you weren’t a Lord of the Rings fan in the 1970s). Please check him/them out and bask in the glow!

Moon Shot

THE FOUR ASTRONAUTS who recently swooped around the Moon and back again – Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover, Christina Koch and Jeremy Hansen, may their names live forever – did more than visually explore Earth’s neighboring world from close quarters for the first time in decades.

They injected into this world a burst of hope and vicarious glory sorely needed in this age of cynicism, distrust, chaos and doomcrying.

Think of it. When’s the last time you felt a surge of positivity and pride at human accomplishments? Speaking strictly for myself, it’s been more than one year, three months, and a day or two.

But watching the Artemis mission’s textbook-perfect splashdown and recovery had me shedding at least one tear of grateful joy.

This is what humans can do when we all work together, I thought, dabbing my eyes with a tissue. This is what’s possible.

I don’t know about you, but I needed that.

Skygazer’s Arsenal

A FRIEND OF MINE, rarely rendered speechless, became so when I let slip an astronomical secret. She pressed me for details, and because you might want to know too, I’m passing them along:

The reason I have 18 astronomy apps on my [smartphone] is that, although some do overlap, each has a little something the others lack. Most are free, but I have also tossed a few bucks at my personal faves. They are… (drumroll)

– Star atlases/planetarium programs: Stellarium, SkySafari, SkyView, Sky Map

– Target catalogues (where and when to look for cool, if sometimes transient, stuff): TheSkyLive, Nightshift, Stargazing Hub, Telescopius

– International Space Station trackers: ISS Detector, Heavens-Above, ISS Live Now, Spot the Station

– Weather: Astrospheric, Field Guide to Clouds

– Solar/lunar observation: SpaceWeatherLive, LunarMap HD

– Misc: The Golden Record, NASA

And there you have it. Mystery solved, I hope!

Almost all of these are available at the Google Play Store. (Nightshift is no longer in development, alas, but it’s still my go-to for current weather-satellite imagery and customized-to-my-equipment “targets.”) If you find any of these useful, I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Aged I

LET’S SHIFT GEARS for a second and talk about something that’s been on my mind for a long but indeterminate while: in a word, aging.

Later this month, may the Force so will it, I’ll celebrate my 64th birthday. While momentous enough in itself, what’s even more of the moment is the matter of perspective this milestone brings.

I have now outlived several dear (and once-dear) friends and family members.

Many of the Hebrew-school children I taught when we first came to Sonoma are now out of college or vocational school and pursuing their own successful careers – some with children of their own.

I have seen my beloved hometown change from a quaint and sleepy rural community to a quaint and world-famous tourist playground. (Don’t get me wrong – it’s still by far the best place on Earth in which to live, filled with the best people to live with. It’s just … different, that’s all.)

And I have matured from a depressive but charmingly self-aggrandizing hophead to a joyful and sober social asset. (For some values of the term “social asset.”)

All these changes – particularly the sobriety – have helped me realize the fragility, continuity and inevitability of time and its cycles; it’s the sort of realization one can only derive from direct experience, and has also given me an appreciation of depth and focus. (And rocket-fueled my innate and sardonic sense of the absurd.) Most valuable of all is what the kids today call “radical acceptance” – a healthier byproduct than cynicism of struggling against the unchangeable – as well as a fierce love of life and its many inhabitants.

Wisdom? Enlightenment? Inner peace? I wouldn’t go that far, because I don’t know how to define or even recognize any of those. Let’s just call it a grateful and quiet delight in the simple, in the small, in the deep happiness of becoming and belonging. And we’ll leave it at that.

Life Coaching

AS YOU MAY KNOW, Stephen Colbert – one of my cultural heroes, for more reasons every time I see him – has this feature on his show called “The Colbert Questionert.” The format: after he interviews his guests, he poses them twenty questions like “What’s the best sandwich?” and “Have you ever asked anyone for their autograph?” and “Apples or oranges?” His final question is always, “Describe the rest of your life in five words.”

Last week, one of his guests was the always intense, always entertaining Weird Al Yankovic. After being put through his interrogatory paces, Weird Al summed up the rest of his life thus:

“Be kind. Bring joy. Repeat.”

‘Nuf said. Me too. Right?

Ageless Speech

SPEAKING OF H.P. LOVECRAFT, as I was in the prior post, it’s easy to dismiss him for what some have called his “overly purple prose.” He can, I admit, become extremely flowery at times, but as mentioned here and elsewhere, the man was a true poet at heart: his writing is evocative, and justly so – its literary power is derived from the consent of the reader to simply and happily wallow in it. By way of illustration, I offer the following sonnet from a collection of same on weird topics titled Fungi from Yuggoth. It speaks to me, and deeply; I hope it does the same for you.

XXXVI. Continuity

There is in certain ancient things a trace
Of some dim essence—more than form or weight;
A tenuous aether, indeterminate,
Yet linked with all the laws of time and space.
A faint, veiled sign of continuities
That outward eyes can never quite descry;
Of locked dimensions harbouring years gone by,
And out of reach except for hidden keys.

It moves me most when slanting sunbeams glow
On old farm buildings set against a hill,
And paint with life the shapes which linger still
From centuries less a dream than this we know.
In that strange light I feel I am not far
From the fixt mass whose sides the ages are.

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