Tag: PR

Hortatory self-aggrandizement.

Our Meaningful Century

THIS PAST WEEK SAW A couple of personal milestones: the completion of my 100th Prosatio Silban story, and my e-book‘s first review. (Pop the confetti and cue the corks.) To celebrate, here are synopses for all the Cook For Any Price tales spun so far, including some not yet published in the e-book or as blog posts. Please enjoy these concise bites of “in which Our Hero …”

Advertent Appetizer: … ‘s customer literally sings for her supper.
Affable Invitation: … diverts a probing question.
Agreeable Disagreement: … settles a religious contretemps.
Ambiguous Twins: … caters for children who may not be as they seem.
Annual Doom: … looks Death, or at least its messenger, square in the face.
Antecedent History: … learns the secret behind the name “Exilic Lands.”
Anxious Drummer: … attempts to calm a nervous noncombatant.
Arrow Escape: … helps a fugitive slave toward a better life.
Balance (Amuse Bouche): …reflects on what makes Eating, Dining.
Beloved Animal: … explores the nature of adoration. Continue reading “Our Meaningful Century”

5 (Well, 6) Thoughts: How I Write

(THE FOLLOWING IS A BRIEF account of how the Prosatio Silban tales are conceived and written. It’s mostly meant for fans of those works, but if you’re interested in the writing process in general, read on — if not, I won’t be offended.)

0. Before anything happens on the screen, the idea is generated. I can’t quite tell you how that manifests, since I don’t understand it myself; sometimes a premise bursts into my consciousness, sometimes I will think of a theme (or scan my “50+ ideas” file) and let my mind wander.

1. Next, I open a fresh new Word document and type in the title (or at least the “working title”), my byline, that day’s date, a space for the approximate word count, and a reminder: “Bold means change it.” Continue reading “5 (Well, 6) Thoughts: How I Write”

A Self-Defrocked Holyman In A Fantastic Land Ekes Out A Meager But Honest Living As A Mercenary Cook

AS AN INVESTED SACREANT, Prosatio Silban ministered to the souls of the Uulian Commonwell’s faithful. But now, his mission is tending the palates and gullets he encounters in his cook-or-die quest for the next paying customer – whether demure courtesan, cranky giant, duplicitous wizard, mystical indigene, pretentious nobles, minor godling, or whoever else is hungry.

Inspired by Don Quixote, Brillat-Savarin’s The Physiology of Taste, and the Dreamlands Cycle of H.P. Lovecraft, these two volumes of episodic fantasies – The Cook For Any Price: Across the Rimless Sea and The Cook For Any Price: More Commonwell Tales – are part culinary tour and part spiritual adventure. Ride along in Prosatio Silban’s well-stocked galleywagon and through a world unlike any you’ve ever visited.

(Available through the above links as e-books, and also in paperback: Across the Rimless Sea – More Commonwell Tales!)

RECIPE COLLECTORS! Want to prepare meals (and eat!) like Prosatio Silban? The free download Commonwell Cookery will nourish appetites both gastronomic and literary. May the Flickering Gods smile upon your honest and sincere emulations.

    What Are Readers Saying?

Ransom Stephens, author of The Book of Bastards
    “Sometimes you just need to let someone else deal with the BS of life. … Prosatio Silban is the man for the job!
    “This intrepid chef travels a world that reminds you of places you’ve been, places you’d like to go, and places you’d prefer to avoid. With his old-school (really old) food truck, he achieves a view of the world (well, a world in a different time and a different place (a very different time and place)) that’s sort of like Norman Rockwell would have had, if he’d been in that very different time and place. All the while, he leaves your mouth watering with recipe ideas! Semi-seriously, it’s sort of like Patrick Rothfuss meets Julia Child. Continue reading “A Self-Defrocked Holyman In A Fantastic Land Ekes Out A Meager But Honest Living As A Mercenary Cook”

Read This (E)Book

THIS IS WHAT COMES FROM puttering about in a small morning with nothing else to do (thanks, PKD, for the reference): “Little-t truths for our and every time; a considerable consideration of considerings.”

Pithyisms is, thanks to Smashwords, my second published e-book — a collection of 100+ original sayings that I have been letting drop here and there over the years. It is available in multiple formats, free of charge (at least for now), and at this writing (2105.23) is a “Featured New Release” to boot. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did composing it.

We Interrupt This Blog …

… FOR THE FOLLOWING PUBLIC-SERVICE AGGRANDIZEMENT:

The current plan (and behind-the-scenes task) involves formatting all 90+ Prosatio Silban stories for an independently published paperback and e-book titled Across the Rimless Sea; as a size comparison, the collection so far (‘prox. 137,000 words / 400 pages) is a bit longer than J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Return of the King.

By the process of editing and placing these tales in a specific narrative order, many have/will become substantially different from what you’ve seen here. Meanwhile, I will continue the story-a-week schedule to fulfill your Thursday mythopoetic needs.

Thank you for your patronage; it means a lot to me. And may the All-Mother watch over you!

Metaphoraging Roundup 2020

AS THE EARTH RETURNS IN its orbit to where it was last year, here is a look at the top ten posts The Metaphorager’s readers enjoyed (I hope) during the past twelve months:

My Favorite Jewish Joke – 80 Views
As it says. I have a couple of others; but this one, with its Hidden Truth, never fails to amuse and amaze.

How To Wash The Dishes – 53 views
A discipline drawn from months and years of twice-daily practice.

365 Names of God: “The Light of Eternal Mind” – 53 Views
Non-coincidentally, my favorite line from C.B.DeM.’s The Ten Commandments. Continue reading “Metaphoraging Roundup 2020”

“…And Just Exactly What Is A ‘Buopoth?'”

“MUCH HAS BEEN WRITTEN ABOUT the quaint and lumbering buopoths native to the Exilic Lands and other curious places – but to this day, little remains understood about the shy beasts beyond the proverb that ‘they will haul all day on a fatberry-cake and a kind word.'” — from Road Bound

That’s the in-universe explanation from one of my Prosatio Silban stories. Outside the stories, it’s a different matter entirely…

According to H.P. Lovecraft‘s 1927 novella The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath (a ripping good read if you’re so inclined):

In former dreams he had seen quaint lumbering buopoths come shyly out of that wood to drink, but now he could not glimpse any.

Continue reading ““…And Just Exactly What Is A ‘Buopoth?’””

Welcome to My World … Literally and Literarily

Prosatio Silban in his galleywagon / Illo (c) 2008 Alana Dill, http://youbecomeart.com Click to enlarge.
O Fellow Connoisseurs of Mythic Fiction (and Gastronomy), please: Lend me your eyes.

For many years now, I have been writing occasional fantasy tales about Prosatio Silban: a self-defrocked holyman turned mercenary cook in a far-off land containing a vast and disparate multitude of ancient and oft-commingled peoples, creatures, exiles, cultures, prophecies, landscapes, and cuisines. They vary in length from one-half to ten-and-a-half printed pages, with most ranging between three and five.

I enjoy writing them (“Do it for the buzz,” quoth Stephen King). I also enjoy having people read them. Thus, should the Universe so allow, I will here publish one every Thursday morning until further notice. (If you like what you read, you may also want the preface and introduction, as well as every story published up to now [plus ancillaries].) The subscription box at upper-left (or, if you’re on a tablet or phone, the box way below) will enable you to receive them via email as they become available. (Or, should you want 85 of them in one place (plus ancillaries!), may I suggest the e-book?)

Please enjoy. And if you’re so inclined — kindly spread the word.

Metaphoraging Roundup: 2019

AND SO THE CIRCLE TURNS again, one more orbit of the Earth ’round the Sun; meaning it’s time for the media’s year-end lookbacks — a conceit from which The Metaphorager is not immune. As of this writing (two weeks ago), and according to WordPress’ built-in stats counter, here are our Top Posts of 2019 (with year of composition and page views):

Letter To A Dead Friend (2010) – 62 Views
Googling “letter to a dead friend” brings up many, many, MANY links. Must be a universal impulse. Mine was addressed to my dearly departed chaver, James “Sputnik” Gjerde: mystic, clown, psychic twin.

Endurance Test (2019) – 52 Views
Post-Poway, the roommate was concerned for my safety. This was my answer. Continue reading “Metaphoraging Roundup: 2019”

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