SOME SONGS JUST SOUND BEST on a transistor radio. (You know who you are.)
Tag: moments
All that we ever really have.
Seeing Her
ALL I REMEMBER NOW ARE images, and the intimate passion of an infinite love.
I remember the room of globes, of maps of worlds and wonders, soft with pillows and draped scarves. And She was there. And She knew me. And loved me. And told me I was Her own and always would be — “but it is not yet your time to be with Me.”
And She kissed me.
Her words, warm as her arms, were now cutting ice. I cried, I begged — I think I wailed. “No! Don’t leave me! Please! No!”
She told me she would see me again, one day. “I will not leave you. But you cannot be with me. Yet.”
I awoke sobbing, but comforted in Her absence — oh so small, and cold, next to Her presence! — by the knowledge that She loves me best of all Her lovers (although She loves all her lovers this way). And so I sit by the open window in springtime, listening for Her voice.
And still She walks the hidden retreats, where a ghost of love wraps me like a veil, like a scarf hung in a room full of globes where my Lady waits for me.
One day.
(They say every poet is slipped a glimpse of the Muse unadorned and transcendent, triumphant and radiant, loving, intimate and wise. I don’t know if this qualifies, but I dreamed this, as vividly as a sunset breeze, when I was 17 or 18. And I have never forgotten it.)
Two Hands Clapping
ONE OF ANN‘S & MY favorite gestures is to gently upfling the hands at about shoulder height and exclaim, “How did they do that?”
This phrase generally applies to dancers, actors, writers, musicians, singers, comedians, directors and others whose command of craft and muscle produces transcendence: something somehow bigger than the package it came in, and which makes us bigger too.
But the arts aren’t all that produce that effect. Birds munching spiders on the windowsills. Baby deer who know how to stand up and find mom. Tube worms. Great chains of galaxies distill wonder into every atom, every second. Don’t let this one pass uncelebrated — applaud a sunset today!
A Sack Of Cashews
JINGLE. SLAM.
1978. THREE A.M. 7-Eleven. Very hungry. Looking for the little heat-lamp-warmed nut-variety display thing. Cashews are definitely NEEDED. NEEDED NOW. Continue reading “A Sack Of Cashews”
Nathanson Creek Wind Symphony
THE OLD OAK TREE SWAYS
like a punch-drunk in the wind.
Please don’t crush our house.
“What do YOU like about being a spiritual leader?”
THIS QUESTION WAS POSED TO me by a friend who’s considering the path. Since I have some small experience with the subject, and some readers have some interest in it, I’m posting my reply here and will be absolutely unoffended if you skip it.
Wow. No one’s ever asked me that before, so I needed to take some serious time to think about it before replying. So first, thank you for an interesting think.
Before I reply, you need to know that I’m currently off the rabbi thing; partly because I made an unsuccessful bid earlier this year to serve my synagogue in this capacity, and since I now know I only wanted to “be a rabbi” for this community (and despite that everybody still treats me as a spiritual leader) it seems rather moot to continue my studies. But there are other reasons as well. That said, there were certainly aspects I “liked,” or more accurately, found rewarding.
The best thing to me about “being a spiritual leader” is making a difference for people in a direct, immediate way. People come to services for many reasons — duty, support, inspiration, help, grief, socializing and sometimes even to pray. To at least offer a moment of connection for those who need it is incredibly fulfilling; to have it accepted, even more so. (I always feel like I learned most about leading services by hawking for Greg; it’s important to be able to read the crowd and respond appropriately and immediately.)
But leading is not just services. Depending on the tradition you embrace, you may also be witness to (and help facilitate) some of the most powerful moments in someone’s life. What I like most about this, perhaps selfishly, is that there’s no room for yourself in these moments — you must be a pure conduit for those involved — and for a heavy egotist like me the experience is wonderfully freeing.
This next may be a specifically Jewish thing (on account of the heavy rabbinical teacher’s role), but there is also a particular joy in seeing people get excited about their really, really old heritage: that moment of “Ohhhh … THAT’S why we do this.” It’s fun to share the things which excite us. It’s also very scary to be the one passing along a tradition — you want to get it right, and you want to get it relevant — but I think a proper spiritual leader needs a certain amount of insecurity.
Seeing people smile when you enter a room is also a nice benefit. But be careful of being praised beyond your capacity to accept. Gracefully accepting gratitude is something I’m still trying to master; what I do comes naturally to me, partly perhaps because I /don’t/ see myself as being altogether worthy of doing it. I just allow it all to happen, that’s all. Like the old Grateful Dead lyric about the storyteller: “His job is to shed light, not to master.”
That’s all I can think of at the moment. I hope it helps you in some way.
Be well, good luck, and blessings.
Instant Everywhere
FOR MY NEXT TRICK, I shall unite the Universe.
Ready?
It is Now as I write this; it is Now as you read it.
(Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. We’ll be here all week.)
5 Thoughts: The Solstice Eclipse
1. A CORRECT USE OF FACEBOOK is evidenced by all the pictures my friends took of last night’s eclipse. (Also nice: Chanukah’s virtual latke banquet.)
2. The overhead wonder was no less wondrous for being swathed in translucifying cloud at 0145 local (PST).
3. A good many of my friends are pagans, poets, artists or other types of beautiphile whose inspiration at times like these is also wondrous. I am supremely thankful, at these seasons no less than others, to be surrounded by so many intelligent and creative people.
4. Speaking of which, solstice is a good time to ponder cycles and time in general: say, how life is lived by the big circle in the universe instead of the little one on the wall.
5. Winter solstice even more pondered: how the dark reaches its depth for one half of the world, even as the other experiences summer’s greatest light. Omnia vincit lux! and whatever you celebrate, celebrate the living daylights out of it.
Viral Into Life
WE’VE ALL SEEN THOSE VIDEOS of people semi-spontaneously bursting into song in public places, to the bemusement, amusement, and eventual participation of the earshot citizenry.
Let’s take it offline, folks. Bust into song. Right now. Wherever you are and with whoever will join you.
Spontaneous worldwide singing may just be what saves us all. We’ve tried everything else, right?
Fear of Fear Ourselves
WE ARE FROZEN INTO SOCIETAL uselessness through fear of liability: who’s responsible, what are the ramifications, an obsessive-compulsive moral handwash. Perhaps that’s one reason scapegoating is so popular: release of tension. Everything flows when the ice is cracked with a lusty “Get ’em, boys!”
What Do You Say To A Partly Naked Woman?
SHE WAS WALKING UP THE hill toward us through the sea of sprawled bodies surrounding the stage at Laguna Seca Speedway, where some friends and I were enjoying three days of the Grateful Dead and Los Lobos in the summer of 1988.
My own life was at a crossroads. I was coming from a year aboard the Golden Hinde II (many stories there, oh yes) but hadn’t decided whether to hitchhike to Alaska and work on a fishing boat or return to the Northern California Renaissance Faire and eventually settle into landbound life. Continue reading “What Do You Say To A Partly Naked Woman?”
A Thought On The “Singularity”
HAVING AWAITED (INSERT PIVOTAL WORLD catalyst here) since I was, at least, 15, I’d like to offer the observation that the Singularity (and similar event-horizons) may be more profitably treated as analogous to the speed of light — infinitely approachable, never attainable — for as long as someone still has to take out the %$#@!ing garbage.
____
(Or … maybe “in” the Singularity, we’ll finally share the task equally; an ethical compulsion through wholistic understanding. Since the whole point of the Singularity is unpredictable difference from everything which came before, I’ll just place my order right here and now.)