Tag: moments

All that we ever really have.

“Return to the Breath”

SOMETHING ANN AND I SAY to each other when life seems fretful and jagged is “Return to the Breath.”

It’s a compact admonition against spiraling out of control with what-ifs and oh-my-gods. Return to the Breath means sit (or stand, or walk) and pay attention to your breathing.

If you center your attention on breathing, you can’t help but connect to the moment you’re in — and know that The Moment is all you’ll ever have or exist in.

There are many schools and methods of breath control. One of my favorites, which I learned in the law-enforcement chaplaincy academy, is called “triangle breathing:” Inhale for a count of five. Hold for a count of five. Exhale for a count of five. Repeat until calm. Continue reading ““Return to the Breath””

“Tzom B’kavanna!”

A TRADITIONAL PRE-YOM KIPPUR ADMONITION is “tzom kal (have an easy fast)” But as a friend in an online forum once pointed out, “easy” misses the point. A proper Yom Kippur fast should be difficult; examining your past year’s mistakes and ethical slips is no simple task, especially if you haven’t eaten all day. His proposal: “tzom b’kavanna — have a fast with intention.” So for those of you observing this tradition tonight and tomorrow, may you find what you’re looking inside for — and may you come to some reconciliation, resolution and growth, rather than sink beneath the weight of an endless loop of it’s-all-too-muchness. You. Can. Do. This!

The Plan

The story is told of two prisoners condemned to death being held for 6 months in the dungeon of a castle. On the day of execution, the lieutenant leads them down the corridor and up the stairs level by level until they come to the courtyard exit. They are taken to the wall, blindfolded, given their last cigarette and their hands are tied behind their backs. The lieutenant walks back to his firing squad and says, “Ready, aim …” and one prisoner turns to the other prisoner and says, “Now here’s my plan!”

–Rabbi Kalman Packouz

Happy 5779!

MAY YOU HAVE A SWEET, joyous, happy and rewarding New Year! And may your resolutions not prove too daunting; on reflection, may you not bog down in a swamp of self-recrimination. As the Talmud says, “All beginnings are difficult.” And Rebbe Nachman teaches: “Sometimes it is necessary to start over hundreds of times a day.” Hang in there, and may the changes you see be the ones you want. Shana tovah!

5 Thoughts: A Wrinkle is Time

1. “WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?” I asked. And the answer came: “Away.”

2. There’s really not much one can say about the passing of time, just as there is not much that can be said about falling in love or the taste of anything. They can only be experienced, not described. But oh! what an experience! we wouldn’t be fully human without it.

3. Two types of time there are: linear (future-to-present-to-past) and cyclical/anniversarial (round-and-round-and-round). Cyclical time is really spiral time; we commemorate the same events but reach a year older as we do so. Continue reading “5 Thoughts: A Wrinkle is Time”

The Loudest Silence

THE TRICK IS: HOW TO scream at the top of your lungs without making a sound.

That’s one of the lessons taught by Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, a Chasidic teacher who lived in Ukraine at the turn of the 19th century CE. R’ Nachman, who suffered deeply from depression throughout his life (and who once said, “It is a great mitzvah [religious obligation] always to be happy”), taught that one can release one’s emotions by focusing them into a “silent scream:” Continue reading “The Loudest Silence”

Are We (still) Not Men?

Image provided by Wikipedia
Fig. 1
FORTY YEARS AGO THIS WEEK, my friend Ralfh came over to my apartment, held up an album cover, and said, “You have to hear this.” He slid out the vinyl disk, put it on the stereo, lowered the tone arm, cranked the volume, and changed my life.

“Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are DEVO!” was revolutionary band DEVO‘s first album, replete with such underground wonders as “Uncontrollable Urge,” “Space Junk,” “Come Back Jonee,” a solid cover of the Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction,” and the anthemic “Jocko Homo” (the latter song making use of the album title as part of the chorus). Partly nihilistic, eminently danceable, the band’s message touted the “devolution” of modern humanity from its noble Homo sapiens roots to “monkey-men all / in business suits.” Continue reading “Are We (still) Not Men?”

Don’t Look Up

OF ALL THE PET PEEVES this modern life offers, one of the most soul-sucking is checking out at the grocery store.

I’m specifically talking about the debit-card machine. Time was, you could fill the two-to-three-minute transaction with friendly banter; ask after the checker’s health and/or welfare; comment on how busy the day is; even chat about the house music. It doesn’t matter what — it’s a friendly benefit for both customer and checker. When you’re working retail, these little conversations help pass the time and break up the daily monotony. Continue reading “Don’t Look Up”

Night, Fog, and One Hell of a Bang

IF I HAD KNOWN THAT our galleon would collide with a freighter, I would have worn a life jacket.

The time was February 1988. Through a curious series of circumstances, I had signed aboard the replica galleon Golden Hinde II a few months earlier as a deckhand and docent, sailing around the Bay Area and down the California coast giving tours of our fine ship. Our plan that night was to motor (yes, we had a small engine) from San Francisco to the Farallon Islands, then sail down to Half Moon Bay. We left San Francisco well after midnight in order to take advantage of the outgoing tide, and were soon past the Golden Gate Bridge and into the open sea.

A cold and foggy 3 a. m. found me atop the foredeck on bow-watch (front lookout) with a couple of other chilly souls. Continue reading “Night, Fog, and One Hell of a Bang”

Adventures of a Lidded Yid

“ARE YOU A PRIEST?” ASKED the workman as I passed through a local condoplex.

“No, just a Jew,” I answered, smiling.

“That’s good,” he said, also smiling, and went back to his repairs.

He was not the first person who asked me about my yarmulke (in Hebrew, “kippa”), but he was one of the most affable. I have been wearing a small, knitted skullcap pretty much full-time since 2000, when my increasing religious observance (and a local anti-Semitic incident) seemed to call for it. It has sparked many conversations between myself and various onlookers, including a Muslim attorney interested in how kosher food differed from its halal counterpart; Continue reading “Adventures of a Lidded Yid”

Fie on Death, and the Pale Horse He Rode In On

He was a man. Take him for all in all. I shall not look upon his like again.
— William Shakespeare, Hamlet

John Wheeler, c. 1981
John Wheeler, c. 1981

WHEN I FIRST MOVED INTO an Oakland apartment in 1986 with John Woods “Wheels” “Spoonhead” “Calvin Biggins” Wheeler, our mutual friends were laying bets as to who would kill who first.

“We’re both so obnoxiously self-aggrandizing,” John told me. At that point in my life, I couldn’t argue with him. We were in our mid- to late-20s, after all, and such things are expected of young men. Continue reading “Fie on Death, and the Pale Horse He Rode In On”

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