Round About

“One measures a circle, beginning anywhere.” – Charles Fort

The first chapter of the Book of Exodus tells a grim tale: “A new king arose over Egypt … and he said to his people, ‘Look, the Israelite people are much too numerous for us. Let us deal shrewdly with them, so that they may not increase; otherwise in the event of war they may join our enemies in fighting against us and rise from the ground.’ So they set taskmasters over them to oppress them … (Exodus 1:8-10)

This may be the first recorded instance of antisemitism. Sadly, it’s a pattern that repeated itself throughout the ensuing 3,000 years: a period of Jewish prosperity, followed by a host country’s regime-change, followed by Jewish victimization. We can be forgiven for being fed up and tired of it; after all, how much suffering can one people take?

It’s tempting to measure this apparently endless circle at its lowest point. But thinking of oneself and/or one’s tribe as a perpetual victim is neither healthy nor sustainable. It’s a shaky foundation on which to build an identity, and it reduces our multi-millennial history to a dismal common denominator. It doesn’t leave room for Jewish pride, Jewish celebration, or Jewish joy.

My copilot the therapist cautions survivors not to define themselves by the worst thing that ever happened to them. That doesn’t mean ignoring the trauma – which would only make it worse – but rather balancing it with a decent appraisal of our many, many achievements.

The Torah verses quoted above continue: “… But the more [the Israelites] were oppressed, the more they increased and spread out.” As the Yiddish proverb goes, “Jews are like eggs. The more hot water they’re in, the tougher they get.” Let’s hope we retain our toughness while remaining tender enough to pass on the best part of ourselves, and our people, to the next generation.

Restful Strength

WITH THIS WEEK’S Torah portion of Vayechi, we bid farewell for another year to the Book of Genesis and the saga of the Jewish people’s ancestral and tribal beginnings.

Whenever Torah students finish the weekly reading of one of the Torah’s five books, it’s traditionally followed by a rousing shout of “Chazak! Chazak! V’nitchazek! (Strength! Strength! And may we be strengthened!)” The idea is that intense Torah study can be wearisome, and we thus need a boost to get back to ourselves. But as we actually always finish the books on Shabbat, perhaps it’s also a call to fully enjoy the revivifying rest that only Shabbat can bring.

So as you light candles tonight (or do whatever you do to mark this most frequent of Jewish holidays), and whether or not you yet study Torah, remember to take a deep breath or three – and slip into some grateful and strength-giving peace. Shabbat shalom.

“Cheap Astronomy”

NOT ALL AMATEUR STARGAZING can, or even should, be done with equipment.

Sometimes, you look up at the stars and wonder while taking out the trash. Or you might look up and wonder what that bright steady light is: a UFO/UAP? Hovering helicopter? Planet? Or you might even ponder that most mighty of imponderables: “Where did this all come from – and what’s out there anyway?”

Enter “Cheap Astronomy (Explore the Universe on a Shoestring),” a website (and state of mind) from our plucky Down Under astro-siblings. Written in typical dry-witted, no-nonsense Australian style, their articles and podcasts are listed under the following headings: “Naked Eye Astronomy,” “Fun with Binoculars,” “Cheap Telescopes,” “Too Cold Outside,” “Cheap Cosmology,” “Reader Contributions,” and others. Though mostly focused on observing from the Southern Hemisphere, even we Northerners can find ample material to marvel over and apply to our own hobby/lifestyle*.

Cheap Astronomy’s approach to skywatching may be mildly tongue-in-cheek, but truly, there’s much serious fun to explore here. So what’s keeping you? Check ’em out today – or tonight!

* That question – “Is amateur astronomy a mere hobby, or an all-consuming lifestyle?” – is an old and shifty one. Take a good look in your inner mirror before answering.

Rear Window

“Your spirituality is none of my business.” –Anon

How do we understand the Divine in our lives?

That’s the question answered by this week’s Torah portion, Vayigash (Genesis.44.18-47.27). Joseph is reunited with his brothers, and informs them that indirectly selling him into slavery was actually part of G?d’s plan. Without that act, he would not have risen to second-in-command of Egypt and been able to save his family from the seven years’ famine predicted by Pharaoh’s dream.

Torah is teaching us an important point: that spiritual hindsight is 20/20 vision. Only by seeing how events have unfolded can we discern the G?d of our understanding; as G?d is later to tell Moses, “You may see My back … [but] you cannot see My face, for no one may see Me and live.” It was up to Joseph to see G?d’s hand in matters, but as the Torah later tells us, his brothers never accepted that explanation.

When someone in our lives is struggling in any way, it may seem like a kindness to tell them that what they’re going through is “all part of G?d’s plan.” But we know that’s not appropriate. Pirkei Avot tells us not to comfort someone when their dead lies before them; comfort is in the heart of the beholder. Whatever we experience is not for others to interpret as to cause and effect.

After all, all we really know is the G?d of our understanding. And who’s to say we got It right?

Righteous Rage

THEY WANT US TO FEAR.

That’s not going to happen.

The 15 Jews martyred in Sydney are a cross-section of the Jewish world: Two rabbis. A Ukrainian survivor of the Holocaust. A pre-Bat Mitzvah girl. An Israeli. And ten others. All killed for the “crime” of being Jewish in public.

There are no words to express our shock, anger, and grief at this vicious and hateful turn of events, because you know them all anyway, because they’ve all been said before, again and again and again.

What I will say is this: We are not leaving. We are not cowering. We are not giving up our identity. We are who we are, as we’ve been for millennia, and will be – G?d willing – for millennia more.

We are an eternal people, and we will survive.

Deal with it.

Cat Whispering

IT’S NOT ACTUALLY hard to become a Cat Whisperer, if you just follow these field-tested and foolproof steps:

1. When you first behold the cat, sweet-talk it: e.g., “Who’s the nice cat?” or “Hey, beautiful boy/girl!” or simply, “KITTY!”

2. Let the cat approach you instead of vice-versa, lest it bolt. (The first Rule of Thumb in any feline encounter: NEVER MAKE A CAT AFRAID OF YOU.)

3. Present to the cat the back of your motionless hand, without trying to reach out for it. (See Rule of Thumb above.)

4. Should you be blessed by having the cat rub its face on your hand, keep your hand motionless and enjoy its warm attentions for the duration.

5. When the cat, sensing your good intentions, rubs its side against your hand, shift your hand to its rump to give a few experimental skritches. Let the cat’s tail slide (loosely!) between your thumb and forefinger as it passes.

6. If the cat turns and makes a beeline for your hand, repeat steps 3-6 until your new friend tires of these familiarities and leaves.

7. If, when you next see the cat, it runs to greet you, congratulations.

8. See?

Instant Souk

THERE IS SOMETHING about cardamom-spiced coffee that’s intoxicatingly irresistible – floral, sweet, bitter, whispering sensuously caffeinated secrets previously known only to the ancient folk of the Middle East. And if it takes just a few easy minutes? Even better. Here is a simple recipe, perfected over a brief period of trial and error:

1- Fill a standard 12-ounce coffee cup with water, then pour the water into whatever piece of cookware you use to boil water for hot beverages (a teakettle, say, or small saucepan).
2- While it comes to the boil, spoon into the now-empty cup a good and proper amount of your favorite instant coffee (I favor a rounded tablespoon of Cafe Bustelo Instant Espresso for its bold flavor and electric effect).
3- Add – and this is MOST important – a level 1/8 teaspoon of ground cardamom. Add also your desired amount of sugar.
4- Pour in boiling water, leaving enough room for cream if you like that sort of thing. Stir thoroughly.
5- Enjoy. With feeling.

Reading Assignment

WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW, stop – and order from your favorite bookseller Liel Leibovitz’ How the Talmud Can Change Your Life (Surprisingly Modern Advice from a Very Old Book). It’s a breakneck-speed, 272-page survey of Jewish history, bringing to life the key sages and lively times of the Talmud like never before, with illustrations drawn from Aldrich Ames and Billie Holiday and Weight Watchers and the Dewey Decimal System. I read it in three days, only grudgingly taking time for sleep and meals; it’s mildly profane and very learned and joyful and engaging and funny and sweeping and heartbreaking and really, really, real. You owe it to yourself, and to your understanding of Judaism, to read this book.

Seriously. Do it now.

Favicon Plugin created by Jake Ruston's Wordpress Plugins - Powered by Briefcases and r4 ds card.