Author: Neal Ross Attinson

Neal Ross Attinson is one of those writing-compulsives who feels naked without a keyboard, or at least a a pad and pencil. He is unafraid of adverbs, and lives with an animal companion and eclectic library in Sonoma, California.

Two Indigent Sketches

1. HITCHHIKING THROUGH RENO IN 1985, I wandered by the green banks of the Truckee River, where a number of seen-better-days men lived in the park, in what apparently remained of their business suits. “Hey buddy, you got a second?”…

Dear Hollywood …

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON MARKETING to us as though we were all ignorant, venal, cynical, cruel, swinish oafs? We at The Metaphorager decry these loutish generalizations and will boycott the offending generalizers: we may not starve you into submission,…

Advice to The Younger Self

TAKE THE WORLD AND YOUR part in it seriously, but not yourself. Never refuse anything offered, but be careful about entanglements. You’ll need computer skills, but you’ll also enjoy them. Write. Stake out early your points of honor. Dream. Then…

Pithyism #36

IF A PREGNANT WOMAN ASKS you for anything — and I mean anything, no matter how odd-sounding or inconvenient — give it to her immediately or sooner. (This rule does not necessarily apply to any other human situation.)

Punch-drunk Piety

WE ARE THE WRESTLERS-WITH-God, the ones grabbing His lapels and hollering “Speak up, sonny!” and don’t worry about staining the carpets. And we like It that way. You who put God on a shelf Who pull Him out once or…

Thumbs Up

THE PACK ON YOUR BACK is both reassuring and cumbersome for what seems the third hour of shadeless noon as you think at a passing car, “This one will definitely stop.” (Actually, if it were really three hours you’d have…

Aside

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